The Tug-of-War at the Garage Gate

hi@victor42.work (Victor42) — Thu, 22 Nov 2018 12:53:00 +0000

Our apartment complex has an underground garage, a bit of a trek from the north gate. It’s fully automated, no guard needed. Management doesn’t want to pay for a guard, so they banned residents from walking through – north gate only. But some folks despise detours and will do anything to sneak through. I’ve lived here two years, and it’s been a constant, ridiculous battle.

Initially, the gate had a single bar, with gaps on the sides. Easy peasy to squeeze through. The gate was always malfunctioning then, so a guard was posted, manually letting cars in. He ignored pedestrians.

The gate got fixed, the guard left. Management extended the bar, nearly flush with the walls. No problem – residents just ducked under. Still worked.

Later, they upgraded the gate: two bars with mesh between them. No more ducking, and you’d need serious hops to clear it. Crawling, of course, was still an option…

But residents just waited. Grandmas with groceries, ladies with strollers, all hanging out. When a car approached, they’d rush in while the gate was open.

Waiting is a drag, though. Who knows when a car will show up? Some residents got antsy and started squeezing past the wall. I noticed the paint near the gate arms was all rubbed off.

Slim folks could manage, but larger ones weren’t deterred. The gate’s ends got wrecked. The extensions were flimsy KT board, easily snapped. The mesh, seemingly metal, had bits near the wall torn off, dangling.

Management fixed it, it broke again. Repeat. A few times, the whole gate was removed for major repairs, leaving just the bare, rusty bar – pretty sad.

Today, I saw a new tactic! Management smeared this sticky, nasty, reddish-brown gunk – oil or glue, who knows – all over the walls by the gate. I burst out laughing! Talk about a deterrent! Squeeze through, ruin your clothes. But the entrance looks like a disaster zone, like someone’s trying to collect a debt.

I’m sure the detour-haters will figure something out. Maybe cardboard or plastic wrap stuck to the wall, using the gunk as adhesive while protecting their clothes. I can picture someone doing that, feeling all smug.

Who knows?

Humor on Victor42

The Tug-of-War at the Garage Gate